you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
