Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
