dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
