He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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