I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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