It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
