just come out here and I will go home with you...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize