i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
