I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize