so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
