if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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