I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
