The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
