"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
