Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
