Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
