Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
