You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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