Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
