Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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