I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
