Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
