so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize