Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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