Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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