So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
