I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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