How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
