Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
