I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
