Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
