Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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