she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
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I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
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There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize