I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
