She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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