Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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