when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
