Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
