I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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