Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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