I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
