Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
