three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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