I think I died a long time ago.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
