I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
