There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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