I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
