we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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