oh god the rape fog is back!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
