Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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