I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
