Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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