There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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