this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
