you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize