I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
