Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
