it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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