my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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