Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
